Les Beaux

What would they say?
- Butch & Femme

1. Why do girls pass each other around like pieces of meat?

Butch: I don’t know about you but I don’t like to share my meat, especially if it’s a steak. It’s simple really; the girls that get passed around like meat are trampy, and the girls that do the passing are selfish losers who have a minimal friend base.

Femme: Only trashy girls do that, and we’re NOT trashy! We’re classy.


2. How does everyone in the lesbian community know each other?

Butch: This one is also simple…MYSPACE! When you’re out walking the streets draped in your gay pride accessories and someone stops you on the street and says, “Hey!! I’ve seen your myspace!!” Numbers are then exchanged and a friendship is instantly born. However, this often ends in an awkward drunken make out session, then you avoid this person at all cost and delete them from your myspace.

Femme: Uh… six degrees of separation. Everybody knows somebody who has slept with that person. But when you’re pretty like we are, everybody just wants to be your friend.

3. How do you deal with all the estrogen?

Butch: Take testosterone, duh. Just kidding. Some girls get a lot of cats to deal with it, and some girls start hanging out with gay boys, who little do they know, only increase the estrogen. Overall, a lot of lesbians just get drunk, the “bad seeds,” if you will.

Femme: I guess I’m a bad seed, cuz I prefer the vodka to gay boys and cats.


4. What was your first gay thought?

Butch: THOUGHT? That would probably go back to when I was 5, and I had a friend sleep over. I calmly suggested we make out like our parents. She declined, so instead I made out with my teddy bear.

Femme: “Why am I staring at her ass?”

5. South Park uses the term “scissoring.” What does it mean?

Butch: Okay, make two peace signs with your fingers, put the middles together until they fit nicely. What happens? That’s right, absolutely nothing. Scissoring does nothing. And in the slim chance you ever meet someone that does scissor, have them call me, we have some things to discuss.

Femme: Why don’t you just go look it up on YouTube, and you’ll see exactly what we are talking about. It’s stupid. And it’s the fast track to catching an STD.